If you can’t fly, then run, if you can’t run, then walk, if you can’t walk, then crawl, but by all means keep moving.
– Martin Luther King Jr.
I read a post written by LaShawn from the Lyfe of Shawn , where she’d written a letter to her younger self. I found it so honest and really inspiring that I’d replied to her, that this is something I’d consider doing in a future post on my blog.
So with much thought, here’s the advice I’d give a younger me:
Hey beautiful, yes you, no matter how you may want to hear this from your dad; it want happen. He’s dealing with his own demons and to be honest with you, he’s too afraid to tell you how hurt he really is to not be in your brother or your life. In the long run you’ll see that it was a blessing not to be in his path right now. It’s full of self destruction and anger, he will confess this to you one day when you’re ready to really listen. Until then, you got to trust and believe that you are beautiful inside and out without that confirmation. There is someone just for you, so keep that confidences of never being anyone’s second best; it will get you further than you think.
Also, stop the crying already!! Just wait, in a couple of months you’ll feel so silly about those teary nights. I know you’ve moved several times before, and this one seemed sudden but you’re just scared and lonely; you miss your Mississippi family, its ok this will be your last move. You’ll eventually like this new city, new adventures and selecting new friends, always on your own terms. Its cool.
I wouldn’t change anything with the path you’re on, so stop rushing everything. Believe me, reality will hit you in a couple of years with a baby, college and a job. You’ll do well as long as you continue to trust that your mother does always have your back; no matter where your decisions take you, she is your anchor. Maybe slow down on the drinking, everyone knows you can hold your liquor but nobody likes a show off!
You got to trust that doors will open in your career and others are just not meant to be for long; just continue to be persistent. Yeah, some people want like that quality of yours and they’ll ask if you were even qualified for certain positions (yes, there are bold and rude people out there) but it’s ok; they’ll get over it or move out of your way. Also, continue to follow your mother’s advice, continue to care how you treat others, it will get you far.
There are times were you will question your existence, why am I here? Was I put here to suffer? Why are bad things happening around me? The list will go on and on but you must believe that after every trial something beautiful will emerge. A real love will blossom one more time. Life will spring forth again and you will truly laugh and feel joy authentically again. I promise one day, out of the blue your faith and hope will be restored.
I know this all sounds scary, it is, and you’ll do some dumba$$ stuff to dull the pain, yet you will grow from it all and your fear will eventually subside. But the only thing that will heal you is love, love from family, true friends and even those you never expected to have your back. You are truly blessed. Remember, you are only one person, so stop thinking you can handle it all by yourself, you can’t and that’s ok.
Be kind and patient with yourself Shugunna, I know that’s hard for you because you put others first. Yet it is essential to your mental to take care of you! Also, so that you can really focus on loving your family authentically.
P.S. Hooray, we fixed our front CHIPPED TOOTH haha, also, embrace your gap between your front teeth, 🤣 it gets wider but just keep smiling; at least you have teeth!!!!
Never loose your humor, it will get you far..
What advice would you tell your younger self if you could? I’d like to know.
Until next time nzuri, thank you for stopping by. Take care…